Our Inner critic is like what kryptonite is to superman. It can make us feel weak, vulnerable, and helpless.
Our inner-critic is one of the greatest deterrent to having semi-decent self-confidence, or the enthusiasm to choose action over inaction. Or We spend uncountable hours challenging our decisions and indecision; the choice we make and the ones we don’t. We go through a vicious cycle of so much self-doubt, we eventually just give in.
Some say our inner-critic is a survival mechanism. Perhaps that’s true, but I have another perspective. It’s that our inner-critic is about the confidence we don’t have. Consider this question:
Would our Inner-critic be as prevalent in our lives with greater self-confidence?
I don’t know what your answer would be, but for most of us, it’s no. If we were confident enough to decide without regret, our inner-critic would practically be non-existent. In the place of our critical self would be a person who is strong, self-assured and willing to view the conclusion of their choices as victorious, whether those choices are good ones. Our choices would be the right one because any outcome is an opportunity to learn and grow.
How to silence your inner-critic?
Start with recognition and acknowledgement. They say that knowing is half the battle; In this situation, it’s certainly the case. No one is more aware of moments of doubts than we ourselves. The instances are many; the solution starts with admitting that your inner-critic is at work.
Recognize the certainty that your inability to decide your inability to act is that voice telling you can’t, or that you will fail. Once you take this first step, here are additional suggestions for refocusing and silencing the negative voice inside your head.
Change your mindset
A positive mindset is the framework of the knowledge we gain throughout our lives. That knowledge is a powerful weapon when used to combat negative thoughts or a mindset that is constantly looking for negative feedback. Focusing on the things we know are true helps to offset the critic constantly searching for an opportunity to ease into our mind.
Accept your imperfections
It’s very defeatist to always expect perfection in the things we do and say. Having achieved success, it’s unlikely we will credit being a perfectionist contributed to our achievement. Successful people will most likely mention flexibility and being willing to mess up or even fail as the greatest contributor to what they’ve achieved.
Don’t forget your values
It’s during moments of self-doubt and criticisms that our values become extremely important. It connects us with our past, the present, and our future. Our values validate what’s true and what’s real to us, especially during times of weakness and doubt. Eventually, our values guide our decisions and contribute to a healthy mindset.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time.
These are part of the words of the Serenity Prayer, a prayer used by most twelve-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. They represent what we all should strive for when dealing with self-criticism and doubt.
When we criticize ourselves, it’s usually the result of something that happened in the past, or something that can directly affect our future. If we choose to focus on the past, or even worry about the future, we open ourselves to doubt and vulnerability. Stay present – focus on what’s happening in your life at this moment. The past is the past, and our future is yet to be.
- Our inner-critic is one of the greatest deterrent to self-confidence.
- It’s unrealistic to expect to eradicate our inner-critic.
- Start with recognition and acknowledgement.
- Change your mindset.
- Accept your imperfections.
- Remember your values.
- Stay present.
Episode at a glance
- 2:30 – A Comparison Of Our Inner Critic
- 2:41 – The Result of Our Inner-Critic
- 3:23 – Another Perspective
- 3:34 – Would our Inner-Critic Matter If We Were Confident?
- 3:56 – The Result of Confidence
- 4:28 – Can We Eradicate Our Inner Critic?
- 5:00 – A Personal Story
- 5:58 – What is Text Shaming?
- 7:41 – The Things We Say To Ourselves
- 8:44 – It Doesn’t Define Us
- 9:22 – Steps To Change Mindset
- 10:25 – What Teaches Us How To Deal With It
- 10:45 – Imperfections
- 11:17 – Values
- 11:50 – Stay In The Moment
- 12:00 – Words From The Serenity Prayer
- 17:00 – Final Thoughts
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You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. – Louise Hay